February 7 11:46pm
I must say, this has definitely been a roller coaster of a week. My emotions and moods and thoughts have been all over the place. I have felt sad,overwhelmed, overjoyed, shocked, thankful, humbled, strengthened, hopeless, hopeful....the list could go on, but one thing remains to be true- He was there, every minute of ever day...through every tear and every bit of laughter.
Why is it that one minute I can have all the faith in the world and not be fearful of the unknowns, and man the next fall flat on my face and wonder if there is any hope? I guess sometimes those questions will never be answered, and I will continue to ride this roller coaster we call life.
One thing I know is certain is that "He who promised is faithful" Heb. 10:23, and He has proven that time and time again. I know these trials are only going to make me stronger, its whether I choose to ground myself into His truth every morning and cling to His promises...
I went on a run this evening, already exhausted from a long day of touring people around campus... I put on my calm playlist and started to run. As I started running, the words of each song penetrated my heart in a way that I knew it was the Lord speaking to me... it was encouraging and reassuring that things were going to be ok...He was right here with me every step of the way... some of the different song lyrics that stuck out are:
*"its ok, answer me with silence, its ok if you dont say a word, you're testing me to trust you'll be faithful in this quiet, so ok answer me with silence"
*"to say goodbye to all the things that i thought i loved but never needed- to lose myself and just believe- to reach for hope but not a reason....and id give my life, to spend one day with you, to see through the rain and know the skies are blue"
*"'cause ill be by your side wherever you have fallen....my hands are holding you"
*"pour out your mercy, clear this busy mind, your love is like eating a slice of pie...it is like honey on my tongue, so pour out your mercy clear this busy mind- your words are a lamp unto my feet, when i walk down these dark and lonely streets- you are all i need"
*"hope is strength to walk alone...hope ill be waiting, and ill be holding onto- im never knowing, so ill be holding onto hope"
there are just a few of the songs that really hit home tonight... i had a great talk with God out in the grass, under the stars (well the 3 i could see). It was great, very humbling and once again laid everything at His feet.
I must say, I am blessed to have the most amazing family and friends in my life who are supportive, encouraging and so loving... and I have realized I dont thank you enough... so thank you from the bottom of my heart! I wouldnt be who I am today without you :)
